Lockdown

So, today is the twenty second day of this lockdown. Yesterday that is (14/04/2020) we all got the news that the lockdown is to be extended till the 3rd of May. To be honest everything inside me just broke a little more. This lockdown is the longest I have been away from my family.

I will complete 2years in the next 2days of living independently away from my homies. But this is the life that I chose, so I am not complaining.

It’s just that I have never been away from them for such a long time at a stretch. Thanks to the staff travel, I used to visit them every 8-10days be it only for 2 days but I used to go. But anyway instead of cribbing I decided to use this time in hand for self development.

To start off is the routine I follow.

After I get up the first thing I do is drink water. After that I fresh up, do my breakfast and regular household chores and then shower. After shower I decide what to cook. After all this is done, I sit on my study table and decide, “Aj kya productive kiya jaaye?”.

Some days I read. Some days I write. Some days I draw/colour. Some days I just study. Some days I’m only on my phone playing games going through the social media. Some days I cook my self a sumptuous meal and enjoy it. Fun fact I satisfy all my cravings by actually cooking rather than just ordering.

But some days are really bad. Because it’s the anxiety that kicks in really bad. That day I’m just on my bed for the whole day doing nothing and just staring at something or the other. The urge to be at home. The urge to be with my siblings and being happy with them or annoying them. The urge to eat food cooked by mom.

But after all this I feel really blessed that I have a house with all the basic amenities and good food to it. Because after all life is all about being positive.

So every day before going to bed I say this to myself , “I’m gonna rock this lockdown”.

That’s all folks.

Stay home. Stay safe. Stay sanitised.

Survivor!

Sometimes, you go through something and it hurts and you don’t know if things are ever going to be okay again. But then days go by and you don’t feel like crying and you wonder what it means that you’re fine. You think maybe you’re ignoring your emotions and that they’ll come back out of nowhere. Until you’re driving home from work, singing along to the radio and wondering what you’ll have for dinner, and you realise you’re happy. Maybe that thing didn’t break you because you’re stronger than that. Maybe you can survive anything. Maybe you finally want to.

Enjoy your own company.😊

People always tend to feel the urge on having a company all the time. They feel awkward if they go out alone in public. They feel they are being judged on being alone in a public place.

But let me tell you, it is very important to enjoy your own company. We cannot always have our family and friends with us on the go. In fact this is secondary, the primary reason is we need to go out with oneself to discover ourselves, to think about life and the ups and downs of life.

So here our my 5 ways in which you can enjoy your own company.

1) Get rid of misconceptions.

Like I said before we are fed with misconceptions all our life, like who goes out alone, who watches a movie alone, who eats food alone. Get rid of such misconceptions. We can do every other fucking thing alone. We can take ourselves on movie dates or on food dates or even on shopping. We don’t always need a person to do that for us or to be with us.

2) Find what you “like”.

Your likes can be anything from sitting in a cafe and reading or writing or staring and observing people and things around or drawing or sketching or talking to new people or playing with kids or stray animals or visiting an orphanage or old age home or watching a movie or going on shopping or even meditating. But first to find what you like you need to step out and explore yourself and discover what you like to do to keep yourself happy. By doing this you get yourself validated for not being judged.

3) Read and Write.

Most of the people out there find reading and writing as the most boring and outdated things to do.

But this thing is really my thing. I love reading and writing. I have read every other Indian and foreign author and I write whatever I feel and whatever I observe. (Not being very subjective)

Most of us will prefer watching a 3hr movie based on a novel rather than reading it. But this is definitely not my thing.

When I read a book I am open to my imaginations. Whereas watching a movie would be like a specific platter of the book served to me.

Therefore at least once in your life try reading it is almost like meditation to me. And to talk about writing begin with your day to day things and go ahead with your imaginations and observations of life.

4) Put down “technology” for a while.

By this I mean give everyday 30mins of your life to yourself. Our generation is always on the go. We are always on our cellphones, on our iPods, laptops, with our earphones. And with all these we are loosing our human connection and affection. We no more remember birth dates because there is Facebook to remind us of that. We no more sit down for a while and talk to our parents, siblings, spouses, friends.

So everyday just take out 30mins of your life and explore the world and explore yourself. Talk to your parents, siblings, spouses about how their day was about what is going on in their life in their work. Read something, write something or even draw something, but just put down technology for a while.

5) Give it a “try”

Most of you’ll won’t even come to the last point of this blog. But for those who are here, give it a try. Enjoy your own company, go out with yourself just for a coffee or a movie, buy a new book and start reading or buy a new notebook and start writing.

All I wanna say is “Give it a try”. 😉

WOMEN.

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been.- William Golding

I come from a family where a girl or women has to be very conservative in whatever she does.

In every other household, girls are not taught to be bold and brave. Instead we teach our girls “SHAME”.

From closing their legs while sitting, to covering themselves from head to toe. We make them feel as though being born female they’re already guilty of something. Girls like these grow up to be women who cannot say they have their own dreams and desires.

I was never amongst them. I was a REBEL. Till a point in my life, I was also under the influence of all these barriers. But then came a point in my life where I wanted to be free. I wanted to do my thing and do it my way. And guess what I did it. I conquered everything I wanted. I would not say I am on the peak, but I am not far from my peak.

There are so many issues that need a highlight but let’s take one of the most common one.

PERIODS/ MENSTRUATION. Another big taboo for girls/women in our society.

Girls on their period are called “Impure” in our society. I want to ask why? Are we the creation of the devil? Why girls are not allowed to enter places of worship while they are on their periods? Why they are not allowed to talk about it in public? Why they are always taught to be ashamed of it?

For you who gave birth to me and to you who wants to marry me, listen carefully; there is nothing about me that is impure every month. I’ll talk as much as I want to about it. I will cook as many meals I like and enter as many places of worship I want to.

For those 7 days, may be it’s you who should keep your impure selves out of my kitchen, my place of worship, my place of work and come back only when you are ready to accept my body.

I will never accept my sanitary napkins in newspapers and black polythene’s- there’s much shit in that than I as a woman could ever produce. And if you try to silent me, I will scream louder.

The Gap Between my Teeth.

It was 18:00 hrs, when I left from my house for work. (I do coaching for secondary grade students)

I had my earphones plugged in with music on full volume. Suddenly while walking I feel someone calling my name. I turn around to see my uncle calling me. I wave at him and he calls me as he wanted me to meet one of his friends sitting with him. I walk towards them and greet both of them.

My uncle adds,

She is the girl who has done Aeronautics in our family. She is very intelligent and works with Jet Airways now.

My uncle’s friend was carefully observing me and he adds,

Very good Beta, All the best.

I smile back at him and tell him “Thank You”

And then after pausing for a few seconds he adds, (in Hindi)

Yeh bacchi bahot lucky hai, iske daant k bich me gap hai. Bahot unique logon ko hota hai, our Prophet SAW also had. She will be very successful and play in money one day.

I once again smile back at him and once again tell him “Thank You’ and walk away.

So, the whole concept of this story goes like this.

Embrace your flaws, embrace your features no matter how bad or ugly they appear to you. Because God gave them to you as a gift and he knows the best reason behind it. Don’t let yourself down just because someone else has better features than you. Embrace whatever you got and be proud of it. Don’t go under the knife just because you want better features. You never know how beautiful you appear to a stranger.

And most importantly, LOVE YOURSELF.

A New Journey.

The road ahead seemed dark. There was no sign of a new destination. Yet it is necessary to walk.

The walk of life.

Sitting at one place won’t do any good to you. Sitting and contemplating life won’t make it better. In order to make your life and to love it and be proud of it, you need to get up and walk.

And by walk I don’t mean just walk. It means work hard towards making your life. Do things that you love and things that you are good at. Don’t do things just because you have to do it.

And when you decide to work towards the betterment of your life you don’t need anyone’s permission. Just do your thing and excel at it.

I always wanted to write. My goal in life was to become a journalist and write columns. But somehow I couldn’t make it. I became an engineer an exceptional one indeed. But I excelled at that too, because I learnt to embrace things positively.

It just goes like this, if things don’t go according to our will, we just loose hold of everything. We start hating everything around us. We start ignoring the consequences. We start contemplating people around us. In short we start hating our lives. But that’s not how it goes. Firstly, learn to love yourself. Secondly, learn to love whatever you do. And last but not the least do what you love. In any condition and in any situation learn to fulfil your dream and start working towards it.As for me it’s just a step towards my dream.

Way to go.😊